I looked everywhere on the Internet for the best programming jokes, coder puns, and funny one-liners.
Some of the software developer jokes I found were corny, and others were lame, but a lot of them had funny programming punchlines and humor.
Below, you’ll find a list of the top and most funny coding jokes available online to help lighten up your workday and encourage people not to take computer programming so seriously. Have fun reading them and be sure to share this software developer humor with anyone else who could use a good laugh.
Programming Jokes
1. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.
2. What is hardware? (According to coders)
It’s the part of a computer that can kick you.
3. What is software? (According to developers)
It’s the part of a computer you can’t hit.
4. “What happened to your funny programming jokes?” asks the CTO.
“They’re still loading,” replied the junior developer.
5. Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yes,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
6. Why do coders always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
(Coding joke explained: 5×5=25 in the DECimal number system is equal to 5×5=31 in the OCTal number system.)
7. Knock, knock. Who’s There?
Very long pause….
“Java.”
8. Why did the programmer die in the shower?
He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
9. What does programming consist of?
10% science
20% ingenuity
70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science
10. How did Yoda get his first lead?
He used the Sales Force. (See more marketing jokes here.)
11. Have you heard about the new Cray supercomputer?
It’s so fast, that it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
12. What is debugging?
Removing the needles from the haystack.
12. What are the three most dangerous things in the world?
1. A programmer with a soldering iron.
2. A hardware engineer with a software patch.
3. A user with an idea.
14. A computer software developer asks God, “Where will I go after I die?”
God’s Answer: Onto a DAT tape and into offline storage.
15. A computer programmer asks God, “What was Aramaic?
God’s Answer: The original Higher Order MACRO Language.
16. A follow-up question to God, “What does that make Ancient Hebrew??
God’s Answer: Aramaic++
(Ok. No more programming jokes about God. Let’s move on.)
17. What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
18. What is the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
Inheritance.
19. What is the optimum view for an SEO?
Pageview. (See more SEO Jokes here.)
20. Why did the database administrator leave his wife?
She had one-to-many relationships.
21. Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn’t get arrays.
22. Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
They work below C-level.
23. What do cats and programmers have in common?
When either one is unusually happy and excited, it’s because they found a bug.
24. What did the Java code say to the C code?
You’ve got no class. (One of the best Java developer jokes around.)
25. What is a programmer (according to programmers)?
A person who fixes a problem you don’t know you have in a way you don’t understand.
26. What is the dictionary definition of a programmer (noun):
A machine that turns coffee into code.
27. What is a software developer?
A person who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those with questionable knowledge.
28. What is an algorithm?
A word used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.
29. What did the project Manager say to the programmer?
You start coding, and I’ll go find out what they want.
30. Why did the software coder enjoy pressing the F5 key?
It was refreshing.
31. A day in the life of a programmer:
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
It works!
I love programming.
32. What do you call a programmer from Finland?
Nerdic.
33. Where do programmers hang out after work?
Foo bar.
34. A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around, and then says…
“Hello World!”
35. If 0 is false, then 1 is true, right?
1
36. What do developers and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless with open windows.
37. What is a Java programmer’s favorite musical note?
C#
38. How do coders hunt elephants?
By exercising Algorithm A:
- Go to Africa.
- Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
- Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.
- During each traverse pass,
- Catch each animal seen.
- Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
- Stop when a match is detected.
39. How do more experienced computer programmers hunt elephants?
By modifying Algorithm A:
- Placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.
40. There are only 10 types of people in this world…
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
41. A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat…
An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
42. A software developer lights up a cigarette in front of his new girlfriend. “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”, she tells him. To which he replies:
“I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings. We only worry about errors.”
43. How do you tell an introverted computer programmer from an extroverted computer programmer?
An extroverted computer programmer looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
44. How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
Try it out in Internet Explorer. Did it work? No? It’s HTML5.
45. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” To which the second byte replied:
“No, just feeling a bit off.”
46. There are three kinds of lies according to programmers:
Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.
47. Why did the digital marketer break up with her boyfriend?
Lack of engagement. (See more digital marketing jokes here.)
48. When telling the story about a recent car accident to her co-workers, the developer got emotional and said:
“I saw my life flash before my eye,s and all I could see was a close tag.”
49. Three SQL databases walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out. Why?
Because they couldn’t find a table.
50. A web developer walks into a restaurant. He immediately leaves in disgust. Why?
The restaurant was laid out in tables.
51. Syntax Joke: [“hip”,”hip”]
(hip hip array!)
52. How do you explain the movie Inception to a computer programmer?
Here’s the basic plot…, when you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM, inside another VM…, everything runs really slow.
(Next, you’ll find some funny programming puns.)
53. A coder is sent to the grocery store by her mother with the following instructions: “Buy butter and see whether they have eggs, if they do, then buy 10.” He returned with 10 butters and told his mother, “They had eggs.”
54. A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, “Can I join you?”
55. The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
56. All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.
57. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
58. A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
59. The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
60. Real programmers count from 0
61. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
62. I don’t see women as objects says the male coder. I consider each to be in a class of her own.
63. Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
(The next batch of coding puns is about Chuck Norris, which are very funny and deliver some good laughs.)
64. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
65. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
66. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
67. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
68. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
69. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
70. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
71. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
72. !false
(It’s funny because it’s true.)
73. What did the router say to the doctor?
““It hurts when IP.”
74. What sits on your shoulder and says “Pieces of 7! Pieces of 7!”?
A Parroty Error.
75. Why did the programmer put two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep?
A full one was there in case he gets thirsty and an empty one was there in case he doesn’t.
Programming Jokes & Coding Puns Summary
I hope you enjoyed this list of the top programming jokes I could find on the Internet.
Although coding and software development can be serious work, taking a break to enjoy some funny coder humor and one-liners can be good to lighten up the stress of the day.
If you liked any of these programmer jokes or punchlines in particular, then be sure to share them with anyone you think would enjoy a good laugh. As I find more software developer puns, I’ll be sure to add them to this list. So come back to this page often to get the best computer coding jokes!
